He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
