how can u be prego again
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize