what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize