1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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