Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
