..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
