marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
