there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize