Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
