I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
