I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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