If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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