Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
wanna go halves on a baby?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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