Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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