I like my sex mixed with concussions.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
