508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
