He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
