hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
