we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize