i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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