hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
These tits shall not be calmed
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
