We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
