wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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