there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
