i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Your shirt... Was in my pants
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
