I wish i was in the wii world.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
