Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
