She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Be still, my beating vagina.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
