Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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