We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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