omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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