You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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