i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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