I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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