Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Can you bring me the toilet please
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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