Don't make out with my wife yet
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
