Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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