Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
