The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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