I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My penis needs a shock collar
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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