what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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