If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
