I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
His nipple licking is glorious
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