Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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