I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
