Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
