I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
