apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
