trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
