DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
