Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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