Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
COCAINE IS GR8
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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