I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize