turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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