I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
