i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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